"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory."
- Dr Seuss
This morning as we were getting ready to leave, my husband said to me..."Did you know that we've known each for 20 years?" He then began to prattle off all the things we did when we first went out. What we did and where we went. He was 19 yrs old and I was 26 yrs old. I'm lucky he's around to remind me of these things. He has a memory like an elephant, and I have a memory like a sieve. These are things I don't remember, as I am a person who has always lived in the present with my mind firmly in the future, eagerly yearning for all its' possibilities.
So today I wanted to share a piece of my personal life with not-so-professional photos of my husband and I as a couple and also as a little family that I pulled out my some albums and just a big box of old photos.
I wanted to share them with you because, even though I am now a professional photographer, I wasn't always one. I'm an extreme perfectionist and even though I demand that of myself and my work and I want to have that level of excellence in the photos I create for people, I also understand that regardless of how a photo is taken, at the end of the day, it's not necessarily about how good a photo it is, because I know it's all subjective.
Photos are about being able to look back and reflect upon your life's journey. You may not like all of your photos. And women...you know what I mean. I detest any photos of myself where I feel fat and unattractive. It's usually for many women who are mothers, around the time when they have children. Like many other women, I gained weight, and I really dislike looking at myself in those photos.
But you know what? I'm getting better at accepting myself for who I was at that time in my life. Photos are not meant to be a way to judge who we were or who we are, purely from an aesthetic perspective. Photographs are a way of taking us back to moments in our own history and journey, when we remember the people in our lives and what they meant to us at that point in time. They help us remember the love, the friendships, the triumphs and tribulations. And sometimes, they remind us those times we would rather forget.
But most importantly, they are still our memories that we have made. And all of those moments gathered together are reminders of where we have come from; who we've become since; the adventures we've had, and all the amazing and wonderful people (and sometimes not-so-wonderful) that have crossed our paths thus far. People who may have touched us in some way. Or maybe not at all.
So even though I am a professional photographer, and I see with my professional photographer's eye - I also see with the eyes of a lover, wife, mother, teacher and friend. I don't see the quality of the photo, but I see the spirit, the essence, the energy of that moment in time and it moves me.
It moves me because that's my life and I've owned every beautiful, sad, adventurous, crazy, moment of it! And I want to remember and be grateful. And as I age, I find myself looking back more and more and reminiscing about how wonderful my life has been and how many more years I still have to create a life most spectacular still, with my husband by my side; my daughter to watch as she grows and begins and creates her own adult life; and all my wonderful family and friends whom I can share in their lives and adventures too.